I’m just gonna launch into this one….
My oldest hens are three and a half years old. Those ten sweet little chicks who arrived in the mail in May of 2011 started me on this entire journey. Making the decision to get those original chickens changed my life. I am happier because of them. I smile more. I have become more curious. I seek answers to questions – albeit weird, specific questions about animal behavior – I never imagined would ever enter my brain. I am extra-attached to those original babies.
And I lost one, my sweet Hermoine, yesterday.
Her last Facebook photo.
To make matters worse, I lost one a month ago – Louise – who I haven’t even written about yet. When she died it felt like I was writing about sadness and frustration all the time and I simply couldn’t gather the emotional energy to write about another death. Just couldn’t do it.
She was obviously sick, but still a pretty girl.
I noticed Hermione was separating herself from the flock about ten days ago. She stopped roosting and slept in the nesting boxes for a couple of nights, then moved out of the coop entirely to a corner of the goat shed to sleep. She rarely left the run during the day. I took her up to Ft. Collins to the Colorado State University Vet Hospital. We had three vets and two vet students taking care of us. We were in very good hands.
Head vet told me despite what I’ve been reading online, a backyard chicken bred to be a prolific egg layer has a limited life span. Not the 5 to 7 years I was expecting, but more like 3 to 5.
Hermione was a Golden Buff, often described as an “egg-laying machine.” She laid a larger-than-average egg daily (sometimes freakishly large) for three years. Then the shells became very thin, often breaking when I tried to gently pick them up. Until a month ago she would sit for hours in the hay feeder trying hard to do what she was bred to do, to no avail. Louise was the same breed, but stopped laying much earlier. She had been pretty low on the pecking order. I think that had taken its toll.
They were both sweet, friendly hens – happy girls. I will miss them.
My goal with these animals is to give them the very best life I can. I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good at that. But death? It’s hard to know how and when to say goodbye. I’m still learning.
On the way to the vet Hermione rode in a dog crate for an hour, me talking to her the entire way. She was gently poked and prodded a bit, and while we waited she and I looked at photos of her friends on my phone. Then, after a couple of injections she peacefully died in my arms.
I think she enjoyed the attention, at least a little bit.
Louise was probably, no, definitely sick for a while. She was slow and often very still out in the barnyard, yet she seemed content. The afternoon before she died I knew it was close. I wrapped her up in a towel and hugged her for a while. When she died that night she was snugged up to Doink surrounded by sounds, smells and animals she knew.
My best friend took this photo that afternoon. I call it “At Happy Hour, A Toast To Louise.”
Which way was more humane? I want to give them not only the best life, but the best death. (And by the way, I am not immune to the irony of my personal struggle to provide the best death for a chicken, an animal that is killed by the millions on a daily basis without a second thought. I know some people think I’m nuts. I couldn’t care less.)
This is my path, my journey with these animals in my care. I’m still learning.
Yesterday, I stood in the barnyard late in the afternoon, looking at the six hens from that original flock. They have given me beautiful brown and green eggs, day-in and day-out, for three years. Aretha still lays a couple of eggs every week. They deserve the best I can give them up to, and including, the very end.
I’ll try my hardest. I’m still learning.
This is one of Hermione’s last eggs. Whoa! She was amazing!
(Shared at Backyard Farming Connection, Tuesdays With A Twist, Maple Hill Hop, Homestead Barn Hop, Thank Goodness It’s Monday, Clever Chicks, Simple Saturdays, Farmgirl Friday, Fabulous Friday, From the Farm, Old-Fashioned Friday, Little House Friday, Simple Lives Thursday, HomeAcre Hop and Down Home Hop)
beautiful post. I feel exactly like you about my animals. I have been extremely fortunate so far with my five hens. They are 2 1/2 years old now. Eggo has had trouble getting up on the roost at night because she is molting and lost most of her wing feathers all at once on one side! and I fear she has developed the habit now of sleeping in the nesting box.
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So sorry for your losses. Hermione and Louise seemed like very sweet girls.
Hi, These are our children for sure. Blessings. If you have not seen the blog Fresh Eggs Daily, I think you might enjoy it. Just hit it up and you will see all kinds of loving help for anyone with chickens.–Merri
We are nuts from the same tree! I too concern myself with my girls and their good days and bad days. Culling my little flock is not and never will be an option – I have many ‘retirees’ but love them as much as the ‘working’ gals. Just last week, my oldest Aracauna caught my attention because I thought her right eye looked odd. She looked at me and I at her but on inspection nothing looked out of place – chocked it up to imagination. Later that afternoon, my husband found her on the patio. She had passed away. I’ll always wonder what she was trying to convey to me that morning.
You are so right about the happiness that chickens provide – such characters. And those eggs of Hermione are awesome – so nice to have a picture to document her greatness and dedication. Louise and Hermione will always live on in your heart.
As with so many of your posts, I am with you. I finally made the decision that home was best, a decision I came to with the help of my vet who talked to me about my well-cat visits to her with my formerly feral cats. She opined that the visits were doing more harm than good. The cats were completely indoor cats and while their feral nature was invisible at home, the stress of being transported to the vets office and encountering strangers was harming them. Hard decisions.
Awesome post. I am dreading as my hens get older and always hate losing them. They have been such a joy to us!
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Its never easy to say goodby to thise we love . No matter what or who they are ….. Tears I share with everyone who have hard goodbys each and every day ! XO XO my biggest huggs ever ! I needed a good cry todAY AS i HAVE STRUGGLES RIGHT NOW HEALTH AND EMOTIONAL ! My heart is next to yours . God love and care for all of us.
So sorry for your losses. I could feel your pain and shed tears for you. I’m sure your hens could feel your love and had a wonderful life with you.
Oh Joan, I am so sorry about your two girls. I don’t think I could deal with the heartbreak of the barnyard..you are such a wonderful barnyard mama to take such loving care of all of the God’s creatures that have been entrusted into your care. Hugs my friend!
You give them a GREAT life! Sorry there is less cheer in the pen today.
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months but this is the first time I’ve commented.
when I read your posts, my faith in humanity is restored.
Bless you.
You know Joan….everything you said today was just awesome and touched my heart. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and kind ways in caring for the critters in your world. Keep doing what you do and keep learning as you go. I couldn’t do it as well as you. I appreciate you and your blog.
I’m so sorry Joan. You are such a good barnyard mama and all your beings are blessed to have you. Loss is hard. The circle of life thing just sucks. Like you I’m thankful to have my girls and in my original flock, they are now almost 3 years in age. I had no idea they have shorter life spans…. 🙁
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I feel your pain and sadness while reading this post…I have to scan through it quickly…seems to much to bear:(
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You seem like such an awesome, caring, gentle person and I am so sorry that this seemed to all happen to you at the same time. But, I want to thank you for sharing your story. I had no idea that a chicken could be considered old at 3 years of age – I thought they lived almost twice that long! Now, when my future hens reach their end days, I won’t be so surprised. Thank you
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I am so sorry for your loss of Louise and Hermoine. My first flock is 1.5 years old now and I feel the same way about them. I didn’t think I would become so attached to my feathered friends and I know it will be difficult when the time comes.
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You poor thing, losing two of your girls so close together! We are reaching that time where ours have lived fully but we add new ones each year to keep the age spread. The only one that I was devastated about was my inside chick, Bird. I made a shutterfly.com book about her and it helps. I should journal the others in a chicken book too. Maybe you would like that too.
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I’m so sorry you lost these hens. I can’t have any animal without getting attached and it’s hard to know when to run to the vet and when to let nature take its course. I have often wished that I could perform the euthanization myself so I could do it at the time I thought it was needed and at a moment’s notice.
It is so sad that you have had so much loss recently. You are so caring and I hope you will now have a long spell with no more loss and will fully enjoy the rest of your barnyard family. I loved your moment with your neighbours cows and the beautiful photos.
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So sorry to hear about your loss. It is never losing a pet we love- whether it be a chicken, dog, cat, duck, rat, etc- whatever they happen to be, if they are part of the family, it just simply isn’t easy.
I don’t think that death is something that comes easy for many of us, whether we keep animals as pets or as providers. As someone who grew up my whole life raising chickens, falling in love with them, and then crying when my mom would announce it was time to butcher them- it really set the stage for my life today. Some animals I keep strictly as pets…others for meat. But that doesn’t make the process any easier. It’s always hard :(.
I think you are doing the best thing for yourself by writing about it, which is so therapeutic. And letting others know that they are not alone! God bless the memory of your beautiful girls 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing,
Erin
http://www.yellowbirchhobbyfarm.com
I am so sorry to read of your losses, Joan. It’s so hard when we lose even one. The only consolation we have, really, is that while they’re with us we give them the best possible life. And you have remembered them with such loving words. Thinking of you and sending {{hugs}}. ~Cath.
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You are one amazing chicken mama! Thank you for sharing how you deal with the death of your chickens. It’s something all of us chicken keepers have to learn to accept and deal with along the way. I didn’t realize that chickens that were bread to be prolific egg layers had shorter life-spans… We’ve had Buffs too and now that you mention it, they didn’t live nearly as long as our easter eggers or wyandottes… Blessings to you and Hermine…:) Deb
I am sorry for your loss. I have dealt with more death this year than ever before: My horse of seventeen years, three barn cats, three ducks, one chicken, two rescued goats, and two litters of bunnies. My cat needed emergency surgery and my youngest dog just had a tumor removed from her neck. Just when I thought I couldn’t handle more death or illness, Jean-Luke Picard, a very special needs duck (deformed and a little “slow”) secluded herself yesterday. Her skin had started looking poor, and she hadn’t been eating much. Yesterday she looked up at me from her sunny spot as if to say, “I am tired, and I am ready to go.” I carried her to her pool and supported her while she bathed one last time, then we humanely euthanized her in the fluffiest, warmest grass in the whole yard.
Your girls knew they were loved. Chickens may be simple-minded at best, but all things are aware of love and trust. Take comfort in the fact you did the very best you could, and know that they felt adored every day of their lives.
Thank you for sharing your story with us at Simple Lives Thursday. Our hens were purchased in 2011 also and I know the time will near for them. While I don’t regard our chickens as children, they are a part of our family and we do our very best to raise them with respect. You are right, the dying with respect is a much harder choice to make. I really appreciate your post.
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I am very sorry to hear about Hermione and Louise. We got out first chickens 5 years ago this month. I have one of the originals who is still laying and whom we adore. One died when she was only 3 months old after eating a screw left behind from building the coop. That was such a hard time. I’m grateful that everyone has stayed healthy since but know the day is coming. You gave those beautiful girls a beautiful life!
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My heart goes out to you. We sound very much alike. There is so much you teach about life with chickens. For some reason I thought I read somewhere they lived 10 years. I was shocked to hear what the vet said. Thank-you, for sharing!!!
I am reading a book by Derek Prince called ‘The End of Life’s Journey’. He was in his 80’s when he wrote it and it was the last book he wrote. It is about death. It is helping me understand.
I love my 5 girls, too. They are R. Island Reds and only 6 months old. One I call Sweetie lays every single day. She is my favorite. Hope she will live long…that they all will live long. May God Bless Us All Great and Small!
You are teaching at least as much as you are learning. Such a difficult, complicated topic, so beautifully articulated, Joan. Thank you for that.
♥
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Kathy
I am so sorry to hear you lost two of your girls. I have become very attached to mine, I can’t believe mine are almost 1 1/2 yrs old. I love each and every one of them and will be devastated when something happens. I don’t know which way hurts less going to the vet or cuddling with a sick girl. Either way it’s a feeling of sadness.
God bless and thank you for sharing with us all
Nancy
I know from whence you come. Watching helplessly while a pet chick is dying has got to be the hardest thing in the world. You feel so helpless. My girls are molting and one, my favorite, for the second time got a crop impaction. This time so far no vet trip and I saved her with olive oil and massage. Then the girls got testy like PMS and had a big hairy chicken fight so one went to “jail” for three days. You work so hard to give them a good life but some things are just beyond our scope. I have lost many girls but like you these I raised from babies and they are the same age but Ameraucanas. So I know your heartache and I send you my best wishes that you can still have times of sweet joy raising your girlies. They are great teachers and entertainers but there is stuff beyond our reach we cannot control. Just wanted you to know I share your grief. Take care, Cheryl
Seldom do I read through a blog intently, but I did with yours. I got our chicks in February this year, so I know I have a long road yet to travel. We’ve had to put down some of the girls and boys by course of illness, injury, aggressive roo.
Our last one, a beautiful Isbar pullet went scissor flat with her legs paralysed, after a week of everything I could do we put her down. I believe she contracted Marek’s. Her name dubbed as a baby chick, Stiletto was so fitting as she had not only the most jumbo sized feet, but also beautiful long legs. We miss each one, name by name, and I don’t see it getting easier. Blessings and comfort to you.
izzi~avis
I am sorry for your loss. My ‘ladies’ have also given me a new perspective, both in life and in death. I too want to give them not only the best life, and it surprises me now how many people think of them as dumb, disposable, or dinner. I may have felt the same then, but this is one of the lessons I have learned watching them in life and in death: we all desperately cling to life (even against horrifying injury), but when it is time to go, we deserve a respectful end. I have lost three this last year, and each is harder than the last. Bless you.
Wow. Thank you.
We are dealing with elderly dogs right now…the end is close for one in particular. Like you, my goal is to not just give them the best life, but the best death.
Sadly, this isn’t the first time we’ve had to make ‘the decision’. I’m here to say that it never gets any easier. I’m sure I’ll be the same with my chickens when the time comes…I’ve only had them a short while, but have found that I’m very attached already.
My condolences to you. You’re doing the right thing.
We’ve only had “the girlies” since March of this year, but I can’t now imagine life without them. They have profoundly changed the way we live and how we look at life. So I completely understand where you are coming from. I always want to make sure that they are given the best possible life, and in that, also given the most honor and respect when it is time for them to pass. I know that when the time comes that it will be very hard for me to say good bye.
From our flock and farm to yours, we are so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your love of your girls with us.
I am sorry for your loss. As much as I have wanted chickens, I never imagined how they would become such an integral part of our lives!
Your story is my story. Each time I lose a girl, I cry like a baby. Thanks for sharing and allowing me the knowledge that I am not alone.
I am very sorry for your losses. I know what it is like. I lost my Thelma on Tuesday, November 4th. She had a cross beak and I took very good care of her. I even juiced her carrot and green drink and had her as a house chicken. She also had an outdoor run area too. Had to keep her away from the other chickens because she had no way of defending herself with how her beak was. She was very bonded with me and I miss her so much. She was a very sweet and special girl. She was only shy of being 6 months old. When I got her in May, I also got a friend with her, and she too was named Louise. So when I came across your page, I just had to share my story with you too. Our babies are together on the other side now, and no one is sick or deformed anymore! I know Thelma is doing great now and so are your girls! You take care and know, they know how much you miss them.